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#MomLife – Adjusting to new roles


3 Aug 2018

It was a really exciting time when we found out we were expecting Lincoln. Throughout the pregnancy we tried to keep Summer feeling very involved. She came to all the ultrasound appointments and got to keep each picture of her brother to be. Often she joined my prenatal appointments too, sharing with the doctor everything she was looking forward to about her brothers arrival.

We had decided that we would take Summer out of preschool to stay home with her brother and I before heading to JK in September, it would be a great time for us to bond (and I missed all of our days together before she had started preschool this past fall). Since I was put on medical leave just before 37 weeks we got to spend a little extra time just the two of us, and it was amazing.

Lincoln decided he wasn’t ready to make an entrance on his due date, or the day after, or the day after, by the time 41 weeks came I was going insane and VERY happy to have gotten the call to come into the hospital to begin the induction process. ( I will save you the details of our birth story for now.. although it is a fun one).  As soon as we got the call, my husbands parents were called and his mom came over to be with Summer. All of a sudden, EVERYTHING felt so real. 

I was so ready to meet my sweet baby boy, and ready to not be pregnant anymore. Summer was more than ready to meet her baby brother instead of just hearing about how soon he would be here, but the moment my husband and I were in the car on our way to the hospital the tears streamed down my face not knowing how long it would be until I saw my baby girl, and knowing that it was never going to be just the two of us again (well three of us). It’s a weird feeling to miss what was and be so excited for what will be in the same heartbeat.

The morning Link was born we decided (I requested) that Summer come to visit and meet her brother, even if we were going to be going home less than 24 hours later. I missed my baby girl and needed her to know that she was still very much loved. I don’t know if it’s just me, or if other mommies have had this fear too – but I still have the constant worry that Summer will feel like she is second string and not as loved as she was before (another blog to come on this feeling). I know it’s irrational, but I can’t imagine how her 3 year old brain wraps around the thought of going from our undivided attention to hearing 50 times a day she needs to wait while I finish something with her baby brother. So I wanted to hold her, and I wanted her to meet the little man who we had been preparing her for the last nine months.


From the second she met her brother Summer was an amazing big sister, in all honesty she was an amazing sister even before he arrived. Always mindful of her brother to be, and wanting to talk to him in mommy’s tummy. She sings to him, tells him stories. Helps pick out toys for him when we are at the store. She is so eager for him to get older so he can play with her toys, and wants to help him be strong so she lovingly sets up his tummy time mat and gets down to show him how to play. I can’t imagine how she could be a better big sister than she is, truly at natural.

However, it hasn’t been all rainbows and lollipops. She is amazing with her brother but has developed a side of sass with her dad and I. Sometimes it’s funny hearing what comes out of her mouth and we giggle with shock – other times its purely frustrating to repeat the same instruction for the thousandth time thinking the non response will be different.

 

I am a little jealous of her quick wit and zappy one liners, I wish I could come up with something equally amusing to sling back at her.

Any parents out there, if you have tips for dealing with your toddler’s new found attitude please pass them my way (She’s still a toddler right?! Just because she starts school in a few months doesn’t made her a full blown kid already … ) Also, I would love to hear your stories about bringing a new baby home, sibling stories are a bonus.

2 Comments

  1. Haley on said:

    I was the same way when I went in to have Autumn. I missed Lily so much! Then Autumn had jaundice and they wouldn’t let me leave. I felt torn in two directions. First 2 years were so hard! I tried to spend one on one time with Lily while Autumn napped and that seemed to work well. That was our special craft time.

    • Danielle - Curator of Cute on said:

      Thanks Haley!

      I have been trying to do that. Or making special dates for us. Summer loves going to the coffee shop for our drinks and a look around the book store.

      We are finding bedtime the hardest. And by the days end I am so exhausted its hard not to just give in to her demands. Mom-ing is so hard.

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